Solomonisms, Part II

A while back I posted some humorous quips from Solomon, one of our little friends from church. But it's been a while so I thought it's time for another series of sayings to make you smile. Besides, he'll only be little for a short time, and when he's older and says something funny, it would be embarrassing to post it on a blog. So I'm doing it while I can! :-)
(Just so you know, I was not an "eye witness" to all of these stories - some of them were shared with me by others).

Mr. Hirst was going to install one of his corn stoves at a friend's home, and he brought Solomon & Vance along. He instructed them to stay by him and, in effect, keep their mouths shut. :-) Not too far into the installation process, Solomon announces that he has to use the restroom. The lady of the house heard him and offered to take him. As he walked away, Mr. Hirst heard Solomon talking - or, in his own words, Solomon was "yackin'." :-) After doing what he needed to do, Solomon didn't come back and the hum of his voice could be heard in the kitchen as he chatted with the lady.
A few days later, Mr. Hirst met the friend, who said, "Boy, Solomon was having quite the conversation with my wife." "Oh, no. What's he been saying?" "Well," answered the friend, "He was talking to her about her smoking habits." The conversation went like this:
Solomon: Mrs.-----, why do you smoke?
Mrs.-----: Well, it's kind of a bad habit I have. Every time I go to the store, I buy them (cigarettes).
Solomon ponders this for a moment, and then offers this piece of advice: Next time you go to the store... don't buy 'em.
(Story from Mr. Hirst)

I was telling Solomon and his brother, Vance, about one time when our family went to a water park called "Typhoon Lagoon," where every ten minutes or so a huge wave would come over the pool. I told them how my dad would hold Tara when the wave came, and then let go of her so that she would "ride" the wave. Vance asked if I did it too, and I answered that I didn't because I was too scared. Without missing a beat, Solomon confidently remarked, "Fear is not of God."

Abbey was babysitting the Hirsts one day, and one of the children had taken something out of the refrigerator and left the door open. Solomon came in the kitchen, took in the situation, looked at Abbey and solemnly asked, "Aren't you going to tell us we're wasting money?"
(Story from Abbey H. - soon to be Abbey E. :-)

I was getting something from the car after church, and as I was going back in, Vance & Solomon were coming out. Mrs. Hirst was not there that week, because of illness.
Me: Oh, are you going home?
Solomon: Yep.
Me: Say hi to your mom for me!
Solomon: Well, she's not here.
Me: Oh, I mean when you get home, can you tell her hi from me?
Solomon thinks about it for a moment, and then says: Well, couldn't you just call her and tell her hi?

We were having lunch at the Hirst's after church, and during the meal, Solomon was - ahem - making use of his narration skills. Hannah began to tell a story, and no sooner had she begun then Solomon interrupted and continued the story from his point of view. Hannah was very sweet about it and didn't seem to mind. But after this happened several times, Mrs. Hirst reprimanded Solomon, telling him, "Please stop interrupting your sister. She was in the middle of a story." There was a slight lull in the conversation, and Solomon began another story. Hannah started to correct him on a point, when he turned to her and quickly said, "Hannah, don't interrupt me!"

I hope Solomon has put a smile in your day! :-)
You can also read my previous post here.