Life, DeL-ified

We had the 4 little DeL kids with us this past week from Wednesday to Monday while their parents flew out to Idaho for Jonathan & Allie's wedding. As you can imagine, when you spend 4 1/2 days with 4 kids, 6 and under, there are quite a few opportunities for smiles and even out-loud laughs. :-) Enjoy this peek into the minds of the DeL kiddos...

Sunday night we played church. Corrine was the pastor, I think. :-)
Corrine: Now we will have the Passover. [takes out the fake money and starts passing it out] Here is your money to put in the plate. [proceeds to collect tithes and offerings]
Winston: No, Corrine! The Passover is when you eat FOOD.
Corrine: Oh! [does the Lord's Supper, making sure to assure us that it was gluten free]
Later on in the service it was time for the benediction.
Corrine: Now, a token from God----
Winston (interrupting): Corrine! A token is a INDIAN thing!
Corrine: [pause] Squanto was the best Indian... [and launches into the story of Squanto instead of the benediction]
--------------------------------------------------------
While baking cookies...
Winston: Do you know why I'm SO SMART? Because my mom teached me.
--------------------------------------------------------
The kids were going out to play in the snow. Because they didn't have snow pants, Tara told the girls to just wear their tights under their pants.
Camille: Mommy said to never wear tights under our pants.
Tara: Well, just this once it is okay.
Camille: But Mommy will know! Even if we don't tell her, she will know. She knows EVERYTHING.

In the car, Corrine was looking at a book, and Winston (in the back seat) could tell she was doing something but couldn't see what. Corrine told him it was a secret (they apparently have this thing about secrets - everything is a secret).
Winston (to me): SHE has a secret, and she's NOT telling me! And I am NOT HAPPY about that!
--------------------------------------------------------
We played house, and Tara was the mom, Winston was the dad, Corrine and Camille were the babies, and I was the grandma. First off, though, Tara and Winston had to get married (according to Corrine).
Me (I played a dual role as grandma and minister): Winston, do you want to marry Tara?
Winston (giggling): Yes.
Me: Tara, do you want to marry Winston?
Tara: Yes. [she's a very convincing liar. *winks*]
Me: I now pronounce you man and wife.
They walk back down the aisle.
Winston: That is the SILLIEST part!
--------------------------------------------------------
In the car on the way to church...
Winston: I smell beans! MAYBE, we have a BEAN FEEF!
Me: A bean feef? What's a feef?
Winston: A FEEF! Somebody who steals stuff! I bet, the feef was stealing some beans, and he dropped one under the seat! We better make a trap to catch that feef....

Camille: Aunt Joanna said that we can wear a pretty dress and be in her wedding.
Me: Really? That will be fun!
Corrine: Maybe you should have us in YOUR wedding!
--------------------------------------------------------
Mom went up to get the girls up from their nap/rest time and found them both cuddled under the covers. As they came down the stairs, though, Camille enlightened her...
Camille: I was dancing ballet in our room!
Mom: I thought you were taking a nap.
Camille: Well, I was dancing, and then I heard you coming up the stairs, and I jumped back in bed so you would think I was taking a nap.
--------------------------------------------------------
We went out to play in the snow, and Tara came out wearing her coat, black snow pants, and a bright pink headband/earmuff.
Winston: You look like Uncle Josiah!
--------------------------------------------------------

Winston and Corrine were going through what they could remember of the 10 commandments.

Corrine: Thou shalt not steal. Ummm... Thou shalt not kill.

Winston: Thou shalt not steal.

Corrine: Uhhh... Thou shalt not commit adulurity. Mmm... Thou shalt not steal.

Winston: Thou shalt not make a new covenant. THAT means, Thou shalt not worship a new car.

--------------------------------------------------------

I hope this put a smile on your face today. ;-)
-Kathryn

Have a laugh

Found this joke today... enjoy! :-)

Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they came across an old mine shaft going straight down into the ground.”Wow,” said the first guy. “I wonder how deep it is?”

“I dunno,” said the second. “Let’s find out.” With that, he dropped a rock down the hole. They waited and waited, but didn’t hear it hit bottom.

“Hmm. Let’s try a bigger rock,” said the first guy, and tossed a watermelon-sized stone down the hole. They waited a couple of minutes, but didn’t hear it hit either.

So, they looked around for something bigger to throw down and came across an old railroad tie, which they lifted together and dumped down the hole. Then suddenly, as they waited to hear it hit, a goat streaked between the two of them and jumped straight down the mineshaft.

While they stood there scratching their heads in amazement, a third guy came up the path and asked them if they’d seen a goat.

“Yeah, just now,” said one of the first two guys. “It just ran up and jumped down this hole.”

“Oh, well then it couldn’t have been my goat,” said the third guy. “My goat was tied to an old railroad tie.”

Thanks to A Pondering Heart

Gavana, the Ever-Amusing Cat

Dad's Conversation with a Workmate

Walking out to the car with one of the guys from work, Dad had the following conversation (remember, Dad works for Motorola):

Work guy: So, do your girls text?

Dad: Well, they don't have phones.

Work guy: WHAT?!? They don't have phones?!?!

Dad: No... why would they need phones?

Work guy (flabbergasted): Don't they rebel?!

Dad: Um, no...

Work guy: Well, what do they do when they go out?! (meaning, out to the mall with friends, etc. not "do they ever leave the house")

Dad: ... They don't go out.

Work guy: WHAT?!?! You keep 'em under lock and key, huh? How old are they?

Dad: 17 and 15.

Work guy: Does she drive?

Dad: No, not yet.

Work guy: WHAT?!!? She doesn't drive yet?!

Funny what some folks think are the necessities of life... :-)

Messiah 2008

It's over... the day we look forward to all year. The Do-It-Yourself Messiah at the Civic Opera House downtown. If only that night could last longer than one night! Warning: We took NO pictures. We didn't even bring a camera! *gasp.* Mom just brought her Flip video. I haven't checked out the videos she took yet but if they are any good I'll post them. So you will just have to deal with a lot of text to make up for the pictures. :-)

Despite below zero temperatures, quite a crowd turned out, including some out-of-towners from Providence Church who braved the weather to come up and join us.

The Chidlows came with this year and brought their friends, the Burns - Mrs. Burns and 6 year old Bradley (who was a hoot - a grown up in a 6 year old body). I may quote a few little quips heard during the course of the evening...

The Opera House was magnificent as usual. This time we had to make the climb to the top balcony twice, because, despite being frightened on his first visit, Bradley wanted to go up again at the intermission. :-) Let me tell you, though, this child has good taste - his favorite song is the Hallelujah Chorus. How many six year olds do you know whose favorite song is the Hallelujah Chorus?!

We had all new soloists this year and as usual they were thoroughly critiqued on the train ride home. :-) A brief summary:

Though I wasn't particularly keen on the alto's voice, it was a WOMAN! Yes! No Contra tenors (spelling?). That deserves a singing of the Hallelujah Chorus in itself. And she was pretty into what she was singing. (Interestingly, both the woman altos we have had - all two of them since I've been going - have been dressed pretty appropriately!).

Emily termed the soprano "diva-ish." She had a lovely voice but was a bit stuck up from what I could see. And could have used some improvement in the clothing department - as they all do!

The tenor was pretty good - not the best we've had, but still good. I appreciated that he sang on all the choruses, not just his solos.

The bass had a good voice but was very "absent" - not at all into what he was doing. And he had a terrible haircut that reminded me of Jeff Daniels in Gods and Generals. AND he didn't sing on the Hallelujah Chorus - neither the first time nor the encore. That is an unpardonable sin (ok, not really but highly offensive! :-).

I was happy to have sat in front of someone who had been going for six years and hence knew what she was doing and was not tone deaf. That makes the evening SO much more enjoyable.

On the way home, Luke had his phone out and was giving bi-minutely updates about the Bears/Packers game (the Bears won - though the only people who will not already know that by now are the ones who don't care :-). Luke mentioned that he had debated whether to go to the game or the Messiah.
Me (to the girls): What person in his right mind would forgo the Messiah to watch a football game in the freezing cold?!
Raeanne (promptly): A guy.
:-)

Ok, on to a couple of humorous sayings by the younger members of our party:

On the train, Tara was handing out our tickets.
Tom (sitting up on the top level): Hey, you got colored ones?!
Me: Yeah.
Tom: No fair. I have classic black and white.
(Somehow - I forget how - the conversation turns...)
Tom (joking): I'd be happy to sign it for you.
Bradley (to Emily, thinking Tom is serious): Well... he's not a movie player so I don't think I'd want his autograph.
(I think he meant movie star)

Bradley (walking across the bridge over the river): Is that the Mississippi?

Emily: No.

Bradley (entering the opera house): Is this the City Hall?

Emily: No, it's the Lyric Opera House.

Bradley: Is it LIKE a City Hall?

Emily: Uh, no, Bradley, it isn't.

Bradley (before sitting down, to his mom): Is this the Sydney Opera House?

Mrs. Burns: No, Bradley, that's in Australia. We're in America.

Bradley (leaving the opera house): New York City sure is a busy town!

(Emily and Mrs. Burns give up)

In the middle of the performance, Maggie S. told the lady in front of her, "I really am not enjoying myself."

The soprano does her first VERY high improvisation.

Bradley (to Emily): Isn't she good?

Emily: Yes, she's very good.

Bradley: You're not so bad yourself.

Tara meets Solomon H. coming down the train stairs as she's going up, on the way home.

Tara: Hi, Solomon! Did you sing?

Solomon (slight roll of the eyes): Of course, you KNOW I did.

Well... I have rambled long enough. If you even bothered to read to the end of this post, and want to see pictures, check the following blogs: Raeanne, Lauren, Wendy, and Dawn.
*Edit: If you want some more text and Bradley-isms, check Emily's blog.

*I previewed the videos and the only ones worth posting were He Shall Feed His Flock (alto/soprano) and I Know That My Redeemer Liveth (soprano) but they are both over 5 minutes. If any of you want to watch them, click on the links.*

For your viewing enjoyment

Most of you know that for about 10 years we have been going to a retirement home every Thursday. However we take a break every August and December, so we usually do a "special" performance right before we break. The first Thursday in December is the big dinner party where we decorate, have a big meal and do a performance in the evening rather that the usual 9:30a.m. gathering. Two years ago we decided to do a funny play for them and they absolutely loved it. Then in July this year we put on another play to continue the story. And finally we just did another play to further the story even more. So I thought I would share these videos for you. *Please note that the second and third plays were rehearsed the day of with no other practicing and the first one had two practices, The second play is based on a joke by Tolkien*

Yenlow Productions presents:

Annabelle & Beauford I (part I)- The Twelve Gifts



(Part II of The Twelve Gifts)



Credits:
Annabelle: Kathryn Yen

UPS man: Sokea Chidlow & Tara Yen

"Gifts": Emily Chidlow, Sokea Chidlow & Tara Yen

Violinist: David Yen

Announcer: Tara Yen

Sound: David Yen

Videoing: Annette Yen


Annabelle & Beauford II - The Mix-up (This one starts a little late, but you still get the point)



Credits:
Narrator: Elisabeth Fojtick

Annabelle: Kathryn Yen

Beauford: Aleck Fojtick

Beauford's sister: Emily Chidlow

UPS man: Sokea Chidlow

Lady Clerk: Tara Yen

Videoing: Annette Yen



Annabelle & Beauford III - Slowly I Turn, Southern Style



Credits:
Annabelle: Kathryn Yen

Charles: Emily Chidlow

UPS man: Sokea Chidlow

Laurelei: Tara Yen

Videoing: Annette Yen


*At the end of this one, Kathryn was supposed to throw a pie plate full of whipped cream in my face, but the whipped cream melted before we could do that, so we had to use the parasol instead, which isn't as funny*

Hope this brought a smile to your face!

Could you be more specific?

On the way to our condo...

A couple hundred feet down the road...

We're Here!

Palm trees and Chick-fil-A... yep, we're in the South!

10th Anniversary Videos

Well... here are the long-awaited videos from the church anniversary celebration variety show! Please note that we videoed on our mini camcorder, therefore video quality is not that great. Due to a *LOT* of laughter and no mics, some of the skits couldn't be heard and so I will only post the ones that are fairly understandable (so if you don't see your act, don't take it personally :-).

Drum roll please....

The show begins with "Women in Black" singing their celebration song!




Here are the youngest Geaschel and Hirst kids (accompanied by "Miss Anna") singing "Keep My Commandments." Notice that suddenly one voice gets louder - that's Samantha Hirst getting REALLY into this singing into the microphone thing... SO CUTE!




And ALL the Hirst & Geaschel kids reciting the 10 commandments and then singing them.




And now it gets funny. Here's Tom and Aaron - I must say they did a marvelous job with the accents. :-)


(I heard that Miss Eleanor S. asked her mother that night, "Mom... who is Alibaba?" Hmmm...)


And the following video is posted at the request of Mrs. Strand - Lauren, I sincerely apologize. It is a bit hard to hear from the laughter.


Behind the scenes note: When Daniel tries to hand Lauren the toy, you will notice that she starts putting Cheerios in her mouth instead (Wendy is being her arms) and suddenly appears to be choking - the reason being, that Wendy is unknowingly putting Cheerios in Lauren's mouth that had just fallen out of Tom's mouth! Grosssssss! :-)

This one we missed the beginning - everyone is laughing because Joseph is getting in the elevator from "Level 2: Women's Clothing." :-) It's hard to hear, but as each person gets on they are saying "C'mon, Ten..."



Well, hope you all enjoyed... :-)

The Girl's Song for Opa and Oma's 50th

Here's the video of the song we did for the party. There's also the short "speech" given by Michelle & Kerry right before we sang it. Megan, Anna and Raeanne - we admit it, we copied you on the Brady Bunch "sound effects"! :-)

Hope you enjoy it! Lyrics are below.



Here’s the story of Truus and Albert
Who were only just twenty when they met
At a party he tried to woo her
But she played hard to get.

They decided to try a date
But he punctured a lung and couldn’t go
So his friend stepped in to escort her
Poor Albert was so low.

But Teresa was so kind she went to visit
For the six weeks he was laid up in bed
That’s when Albert knew that they should be together
They postponed vacation plans for rings to wed.

For rings to wed, for rings to wed
Then he asked her dad for her hand to wed.

***

Trijntje, get your shoes on,
For the organ will be playing soon.
Oh, no, they are broken!
Tell the organist to stop his tune!

First I had to go and rent my dress.
Now my shoes are broken, what a mess!
I’ll go call my good friend
She has shoes that likely will fit,
I bet they will fit,
Oh, yes, they do let’s go!

***

The wedding bells are ringing,
The birds are sweetly singing,
And Albert’s proudly beaming,
The wedding day is here!

The courthouse made it legal,
The church, it looked so regal,
It was stuffed full of people,
The wedding day is here!

The reception was a banquet,
So fun they’ll never forget!
Looks like her daddy’s in debt,
The wedding day is done!

***

America’s the place to be.
The land of opportunity.
I can’t wait to see my sis and bro.
Pack you bags right now ‘cuz it’s time to go.

With Mother’s where I’d rather stay.
I’ve no interest in the U.S.A.
On dykes is where I love to roam.
Albert, I love you, but don’t make me leave my home.

The jobs!
They’re slobs!
The thrills!
Windmills!

I get to choose.
Goodbye wooden shoes!
America here we come!

***

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a seasick wife,
While Albert, ‘cuz he’s on a boat,
Is having the time of his life!

And as they sailed a storm blew up,
The sea began to roar,
The wind picked up, the clouds rolled in,
And it began to pour.
Yes, it began to pour.

Poor Truus, she was so sick
She could’ve fallen off the boat,
So Albert strapped her to a chair,
And ran to get her coat.
He ran to get her coat.

He met the captain on the way,
He said, “Sir, that’s my wife.
Please don’t think I’m nuts,
I’m really trying to save her life.”
“I’m trying to save her life.”

But she survived (as you can see)
They arrived in New Jersey.
Standing on the docks,
With two suitcases,
And eighty-two measly bucks.
It was hard at first
But they pulled through
And it had nothing to do with luck.

Since fifty years ago they wed
A lot they have been through.
But God’s grace has them sustained
His love is ever new!

Like Father, Like Daughter

"I don't know those people..."

Don't ask.

Solomonisms, Part II

A while back I posted some humorous quips from Solomon, one of our little friends from church. But it's been a while so I thought it's time for another series of sayings to make you smile. Besides, he'll only be little for a short time, and when he's older and says something funny, it would be embarrassing to post it on a blog. So I'm doing it while I can! :-)
(Just so you know, I was not an "eye witness" to all of these stories - some of them were shared with me by others).

Mr. Hirst was going to install one of his corn stoves at a friend's home, and he brought Solomon & Vance along. He instructed them to stay by him and, in effect, keep their mouths shut. :-) Not too far into the installation process, Solomon announces that he has to use the restroom. The lady of the house heard him and offered to take him. As he walked away, Mr. Hirst heard Solomon talking - or, in his own words, Solomon was "yackin'." :-) After doing what he needed to do, Solomon didn't come back and the hum of his voice could be heard in the kitchen as he chatted with the lady.
A few days later, Mr. Hirst met the friend, who said, "Boy, Solomon was having quite the conversation with my wife." "Oh, no. What's he been saying?" "Well," answered the friend, "He was talking to her about her smoking habits." The conversation went like this:
Solomon: Mrs.-----, why do you smoke?
Mrs.-----: Well, it's kind of a bad habit I have. Every time I go to the store, I buy them (cigarettes).
Solomon ponders this for a moment, and then offers this piece of advice: Next time you go to the store... don't buy 'em.
(Story from Mr. Hirst)

I was telling Solomon and his brother, Vance, about one time when our family went to a water park called "Typhoon Lagoon," where every ten minutes or so a huge wave would come over the pool. I told them how my dad would hold Tara when the wave came, and then let go of her so that she would "ride" the wave. Vance asked if I did it too, and I answered that I didn't because I was too scared. Without missing a beat, Solomon confidently remarked, "Fear is not of God."

Abbey was babysitting the Hirsts one day, and one of the children had taken something out of the refrigerator and left the door open. Solomon came in the kitchen, took in the situation, looked at Abbey and solemnly asked, "Aren't you going to tell us we're wasting money?"
(Story from Abbey H. - soon to be Abbey E. :-)

I was getting something from the car after church, and as I was going back in, Vance & Solomon were coming out. Mrs. Hirst was not there that week, because of illness.
Me: Oh, are you going home?
Solomon: Yep.
Me: Say hi to your mom for me!
Solomon: Well, she's not here.
Me: Oh, I mean when you get home, can you tell her hi from me?
Solomon thinks about it for a moment, and then says: Well, couldn't you just call her and tell her hi?

We were having lunch at the Hirst's after church, and during the meal, Solomon was - ahem - making use of his narration skills. Hannah began to tell a story, and no sooner had she begun then Solomon interrupted and continued the story from his point of view. Hannah was very sweet about it and didn't seem to mind. But after this happened several times, Mrs. Hirst reprimanded Solomon, telling him, "Please stop interrupting your sister. She was in the middle of a story." There was a slight lull in the conversation, and Solomon began another story. Hannah started to correct him on a point, when he turned to her and quickly said, "Hannah, don't interrupt me!"

I hope Solomon has put a smile in your day! :-)
You can also read my previous post here.

"Virtual Daddy"

As you probably know, Dad has flown out to North Carolina to be with our Nini. We miss him a lot but thankfully, with modern technology, we can see and talk with him over a nifty little gadget called "webcam."
We try to make it seem as much like he is with us as possible and put him in "his" chair at the table when we are eating, we "hold hands" while he prays, and we also goof off and pretend to hand him his napkin, give him a bite, etc., as you see below. :-)

Solomonisms

No, I'm not speaking in biblical terms.

Yesterday Tara and I spent the day at the Hirst's home, helping out with the kids and general things around the house. And throughout the whole day, Solomon Hirst had us in stitches with his matter-of-fact, amusingly serious remarks.
And so, I share some of them with you now.

"Sugar is bad. When you eat it, it turns into BAD FAT. Except, if Mom says we can have it, then it's okay."

Solomon: "You should never breathe exhaust. Exhaust is very bad."
Me: "Even worse than sugar?"
Solomon: "Yes. Some people like the smell of gas, but that is bad, because you can't breathe it. Only, if I have to walk by the muffler (he must have meant the exhaust pipe) it's okay to breathe the exhaust because I have to breathe."

Solomon was told to pick up some corn that had spilled on the floor. I was organizing books on the shelf nearby, and handed him a piece of paper to put the corn on. Obviously he was quite appreciative. "Miss Kathryn, thank you so much for this paper. It would be so hard to pick up all this corn without this paper - I would be here for a long time!"

In the middle of her nap, Samantha comes down needing a diaper change. Apparently she has a little habit of taking it off, but this time she had it on. Says Solomon to me, "Oh, I am so proud. Sammy kept her diaper on." After being sent back to bed, Samantha again comes down for no particular reason. Discipline is in order. Says Solomon with a serious expression, "I'm not proud anymore."

No offense to the Von Holten family, but... "Mr. Luke is a trouble maker. If there is trouble, Mr. Luke is there."

A couple more not from yesterday:

"Did you know- I can turn a steering wheel with one hand! And some people can turn a steering wheel with one finger!" (Mrs. Hirst makes mental note of this for when he turns 16).

We're camping, and little Nathan begins to wander further than he ought. Big brother Solomon goes after him, but can't pick him up or drag him back to the picnic area. He looks around for help, catches my eye, and calls, "Um, excuse me, Girl, I could use some help over here!"

"I know how to snap!"
Finger movement, but no sound.
"And I can do it with the other hand!"
Finger movement, no sound.
"And I can do it with two fingers!"
Finger movement, no sound.
"AND I can do both hands at the same time!"
Finger movement, still no sound.
Looks like he'll need to work on that.

Nathan is getting baptized and is not, well, responding very well to cold water being poured over his head.
Solomon, loudly: "I don't think he likes it."

Thanks for making us smile, Solomon! :-)

An Encounter with a Mouse

Ever just need a good story???
It's been nearly a week since our first encounter with a live mouse in the house. It was a fairly "normal" morning, Kathryn and Mom were outside watering the flowers and I was inside doing chores in the kitchen. I was walking toward the fridge and suddenly I saw a little gray mouse right next to the fridge. I, girl-like, screamed and went running outside to where Mom and Kathryn were watering, screaming, "There's a mouse in the house! There's a mouse in the house!" By the time we got back inside, the mouse had disappeared. A little later, while we were having breakfast, it came out again and we grabbed the cats to see it. Gavana and Basha were worthless as far as catching mice, but Scamper dove for it, missed and tried to get it for the next hour without success. We left out a jar with cheese in it and cheese trailing into it, but Basha loves cheese so she ate it rather than the mouse. Dad bought a couple mouse traps, but the cats bumped them and by morning they were closed, without any mice inside. We forget about it, that is, until last Thursday. Kathryn and I were making dinner and Kathryn spilled the oil (usually I spill stuff, not Kathryn, but this time it was switched) and she asked me to kindly get a paper towel for her. I was passing Scamper, was getting ready to pounce on a little gray object, which I thought was one of his fake play mice, but then it moved and I realized that the play mouse was really the real mouse. I wish I could say that I calmly and triumphantly brought a jar down over it and captured the mouse, but that honor was left to my dignified sister. Instead I screamed "AHHHHHH!!! It's the mouse! it's the mouse! AHHHHHH!!! catch it! catch it!" And so Kathryn "calmly and triumphantly" brought a jar down over it and captured the mouse, saying quietly "Look Tara! He's cute!"
Scamper went wild over "his" success and started rubbing all over the jar, on the ground, and everywhere he could. We all, yes, all including me, looked at it for a while, and then removed him to his new living quarters - in the field.
So, to sum up the story in 5 words: Tara + mice = panic.

Have a nice day!

What Doesn't Belong?

I looked out the window and noticed that something just didn't fit the beautiful scenery. Can you find it??

Need a HINT?

:-) Enjoy your day! (-:

Cat versus Dog Diary

Thought this was kind of funny for cat and dog owners. It is a diary someone wrote pretending they are first a dog and then a cat.

Excerpt from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!

6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MY PEOPLE'S BED! MY FAVORITE!

Excerpt from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 183 of my captivity ~ My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.